Advice on dating a recently separated man
“ Unsurprisingly, some folks are unwilling to extend their emotional exile.
Maybe they just want fun, sex, and a break from the bleakness.
I needed to be there 100% for the kids and myself, and new romantic partners, whether they know it or not, are just as needy as a new pet.
You have to have the time and energy (and inclination) to work at a relationship. If you were madly in love, knew his circumstances better and felt good about them, the divorce was definitely finalizing soon, and somehow you’d found ways to mitigate the Stress, then I might advise you differently.
I learned that I definitely needed time in between relationships. some do not ask me out again (I’m assuming that my I’m not-quite-divorced yet status may have something to do with it… Last week I went on a date with this guy and when I told him that I was in the process of getting divorced he said “so you’re married!? I would definitely recommend anyone considering it take the decision very seriously.I was in my late 30’s and unprepared to spend the rest of my life waiting for him to let go as I watched the good men snapped up by other, younger, women….” As you’ve found, Dan, some of the not-quite-divorced lie to get a little contact.They might fear rejection; they may not have thought through the consequences.Perhaps they’re ready for a new commitment, especially if the old one was broken long ago a’ la strangers under one roof.They might not think they owe loyalty to a feckless, faithless mate, or one who prolongs the proceedings.
Do I need to see finalized legal papers before I can meet someone for coffee? So imagine you’re lonely in a marriage—and then you find out that because of a vast array of legal, financial, parenting, and partner issues, the divorce itself is going to take years: “[There’s a] mandatory 2-year separation period in our state….